MARP Home
Resources
Aging with Spirit
Book Reviews
In the News...
Links
PAGES
Peace
Poetry
Programs/Trips
Quotes
Wisdom/For Fun
Membership Rewards
Joining MARP
S O O P
Service Locations 2005
U.S. ~ Canada
Requests
Reflections/Story
|
|
|
Editorial, Fall 2003 issue of PAGES:
Back to Editorial Archive List
"Looking Around Me"
“A word is dead when it is said, some say. I say, it just begins to live that day.”
Emily Dickinson, how did you know! “Memory” was such a word that came alive (fittingly!) for me as my family experienced together the death of our oldest brother at age 72 in early October. A part of this loss is never being able to ask questions I still have — “Oh, Marty, do you remember that time… ?”
While Marty experienced a slow physical decline, one loss he did not face was memory. While his speech became hesitant during the final months, my big brother never lost his joy in reconnecting with a wide circle of friends, relating to his pastor, accepting the love of his wife and their six sons and 15 grandchildren. Some of his six siblings lived at a distance, but Marty’s eyes lit up when we appeared. When we brought along our spouses, the glow increased. Such visits — rich with story, building hope and faith — revived memories of his former full life and provided diversion from the depressing reality of his increasing Parkinson’s-related losses. He always “got the joke” and often managed to come up with clever rejoinders! Marty’s former active years as a loquacious “people person” and his memory stood him in good stead to the end.
His oldest son had a special memory shared by e-mail along with the news of his father’s dying. “Dad died peacefully yesterday morning… . What a privilege to be in his presence and to imagine the Lord welcoming him home. The father who always told me that ‘No matter what you do, what choices you make in life, you will always be welcome and loved at home’ was being welcomed home himself.”
Memory – we can savor it in lonely moments, build it by reaching out to others, continue to add to it. This gift from our Creator works both forward and backward. We often “look back” in exulting joy, relish, or with some regrets — still able to value the lessons learned. And memory also leads us as we look ahead, as we live with expectation. This seems to be what is meant by the truism that “anticipation is half the fun.”
With the death of a loved one who knows God, heaven comes into clearer focus — even as we continue to wonder about this life beyond. Memory — of parents, siblings, offspring, friends — some known to us best by stories shared by others with their own memories — what a colorful web our minds can weave as we contemplate that proclaimed “cloud of witnesses.” We speculate what they would want to tell us! Another wild and wondrous hope: memory — lost here during physical frailty — restored in heaven! I was told many times during these weeks “how wonderful to have the memories.” Thus earth and heaven do merge. Amazing grace!
— Helen L. Lapp
top
Mennonite Association for Retired Persons
717-201-8391 ~ E-mail
|
